No, no, no, I am not referring to a funky spirited dance, or a chilled ice cream treat, although both of these sound fun, it is something which is much more serious than that.
Our home is considered a blended family home, since both my husband and I have children from previous relationships, both with sons. Which is very common in today’s society. With this type of family, the slight mention of the holiday season can send chills up a parent’s spine, and thoughts of transportation, time constraints, and who, what, when, where, what time, and whether it is an odd or even numbered year.
The holidays are not simple in the least, having a family situation where visitation with the other parent has to be arranged, one or more of the parents who do not easily get along.
Those disagreeable parents are usually my ex and I, we both are so very stubborn, putting up barriers against one another, often losing focus of what is really important, our son. Not because we do not love him, but because it is difficult for us to think past our own wants and desires, instead of what our son may want or need. Our own personal faults, leads us to verbally push each other’s buttons, because often we both exude symptoms of control freak complex, with a “my way or the highway” mentality.
After our split in 2007 it became more obvious how much alike my ex and I are. We are both very dependent type people, with the need for others to do things for us, whether it be with finances, or whatever else we may think we “need.” This caused for an 8 year on-and-off codependent relationship where neither of us benefited, and was more harmful than good.
Simple travel to visit with family can be such a hassle when it comes to having to fit in another family’s arrangements as well. With my husband and his ex, it seems like a slice of cake. Weston normally just pays for a flight, to and from, and that is that. In all honesty, I may be totally different in writing than I am verbally.
Weston says I have an attitude, but I know I can convey better in writing and without a sassy tone. Thankfully arrangements with my ex and our son have been written out, and with little stress. Now that we all know where we are to be, when, it makes for a NO stress Christmas holiday.
How many of my fellow bloggers have to make arrangements with the other parent?
Is there more, little, or no stress when it comes to planning visitation out?
I hope it is the latter of the three for you, and I wish you a very merry Christmas split.